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Transcription:The Time of the Great Pumpkin
(Linus is standing in the middle of a pumpkin patch at night) Linus: ...and so, each Halloween, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch and gives Halloween presents to all the girls and boys. Linus:For some reason, he's never actually appeared to me personally, but this year will be different. (He sets a chicken on fire in the center of a pentacle) Linus: Arise! Arise, O Great Pumpkin! (He sees the great pumpkin appear) Finally! Now you can give me presents. (A menacing shadow appears over him) Aaaaaaaaaaaahh! (A card reading The time of the great pumpkin: Day 1 is shown) Day 1 (In a field near the pumpkin patch, Lucy is attempting to trick Charlie Brown into trying to kick a football) Lucy: Just kick the ball, you blockhead! Charlie Brown: But every time I try, you just take the ball away. Lucy: This time I won't! Come on, already! Charlie Brown: (Thinking to himself) Maybe this time she means it. (He begins running) I'm going to do it. I'm going to kick the football. This is it! (He kicks Lucy instead, who flies off into the pumpkin patch) Lucy: Aaaahh! Charlie Brown: That's for years of humiliation, bitch! (Lucy lands in a puddle of blood) Lucy: What the...? (screaming) Charlie Brown: Poor Linus. (Lucy and Charlie Brown are at the police station) Lucy: That blockhead! Everyone's a blockhead! Blockheads. Blockheads. Blockheads! An anonymous, offscreen adult: Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah? Lucy: (to Charlie Brown) What did he say? Charlie Brown: Augh! I never have any idea what any adult says. It's always that "Wah wah wah" crap. (A card reading: Day 2 is shown) Day 2 (The Peanuts friends are gathered around Linus's grave, and Schroeder plays a funeral song on his piano) Charlie Brown: I thought it would be appropriate to bury what little they found of Linus in his security blanket. (He throws it in the grave) Lucy: That stupid blanket! I knew he was never right in his head. (Snoopy howls) Sally: Oh, my sweet babboo! I can't live without him! I won't leave him, I won't! (She begins crying and runs twist around, and Pigpen begins filling it with dirt) Linus! Linus! I can't... Linus! Charlie Brown: (to Marcie and Peppermint Patty) This is different from the time we got lost in France, or when we almost drowned during the Great River raft race. I fear just having a positive attitude with strong Christian overtones won't save us this time. Marcie: (to Peppermint Patty) Hold me, sir. (The girls begin kissing) Charlie Brown: I said strong Christian overtones! (A card with the text: Day 10 is shown) (Charlie Brown is at Lucy's psychiatric help booth) Charlie Brown: I'm at the end of my rope, Lucy. Everyone else is dead besides you and me. (Lucy gasps as the menacing shadow appears over her; Charlie Brown turns away from her, thinking he is still talking to her, as a crunching noise is heard) Charlie Brown: I thought being stuck as a prepubescent bald kid for fifty years couldn't get any worse. (sighs) What should we do? Great Pumpkin: (offscreen) You should let the Great Pumpkin eat you! (The Great Pumpkin comes out of the booth and Charlie Brown turns around and sees it) (Charlie Brown runs away, followed closely by the Great Pumpkin; he attempts to hide under a tree. The Great Pumpkin appears in front of him, but stops at the sight of several broken kites lying under the tree) Charlie Brown: Meet the kite-eating tree, you ugly son of a bitch! (The Great Pumpkin's head is ripped off and subsequently eaten by the Kite-Eating Tree) Charlie Brown: It's over. It's finally over. Rest, my friends; now you can rest. (All his dead friends appear dancing in Hell to Schroeder's music, and are joined by a demon, the scene fades to black, which ends the sketch) Category:Transcriptions